Community is essential. And God gifts us with community and reminds us consistently in His Word to not forsake meeting in community to encourage and build one another up (Hebrews 10:25). But sometimes, both in daily life and in the church, finding safe community is hard. Scripture is clear that not everyone is safe. There are wolves in sheep's clothing. There are unequal yokes. And try as we might, community this side of Heaven will never be in perfect unity. However, as Christ followers, we are called to continuously work towards unity in community. So how do we know when those in our life are safe? We look to the standard of God's Word. We look for those who are being conformed to the image of Christ. "Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful." (Colossians 3:12-15) Community is a gift, but a gift we must be intentional about pursuing it.
God gives us Jesus as an example of community and finding safe people. Even Jesus, the all powerful, omniscient, omnipresent Son of God, had boundaries. He intentionally chose disciples, friends, and specific groups of people to invest most closely in. While He cared for all and loves all, during His time on earth, He chose to spend His time wisely and that meant He couldn't spend the same amount of time with everyone. Sometimes friendships with others look different person to person - how you spend your time, the conversations you have, and the amount of time you spend with them, and that is okay and even necessary.
God provides us individuals and spaces that help us live this life as followers of Christ. He knows exactly who we need and exactly when we need them to point us back to Him and to strengthen and sharpen us. Those who are safe places in your life should exhibit characteristics of Christ: faithfulness, patience, goodness, steadfastness, wisdom, peace, protection, and grace. They should edify you and seek to grow the Kingdom alongside you! We must remember though, that even those in our life who are safe spaces for us are not perfect. Just like us, they will mess up and sin. God, in His grace, gives us safe people to help us look more like Him. However, He never intends for these people to take the place He holds in our life as the ultimate refuge.
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